was a concept of Isabel Allende’s latest memoir (i think) called My Invented Country. A recommended, quick read, at least in my opinion. but one theme that i connected to was a transient sense of belonging and when faded memories of a place are becoming more imagination.


i felt this when i was with Ryan this january in california. we were helping our mother with a retreat for folks recovering from religion. thats right. check out her work at marlenewinell.net under “recovering from harmful religion.” there are also tips for recovering sensuality if you can find them. but i was talking about being with eachother in australia, and memories we had.

i recollected collecting pieces of concrete and roofing from on top of our roof. i was kind of stock piling them because it was fun to find loose pieces and i had some vague idea of building a teeny play house with the material. i never figured out, nor really pondered much, how exactly that process would go.

i saw a tree in california with small bunches of red berries and small, dark green leaves and i recognized the tree as one we had on star street. we lived on star street, marlene, ryan and i, for four years. the most time ever in one house. i would pick those berries and put some on a big round, smooth, oval rock we had in our garden where i could feel the faeries danced. they danced and feasted on berries sometimes in the night. the faeries of my garden as i grew up were human appearing, and associated somewhat with the various plants and flowers of the area. i still believe in faeries. i believe in magic for the pure reason that there are so many playful and beautiful surprises and i feel that when living, conscious beings/spiritual beings are enjoying something, there is a NURSING of a communal life force. joy and love are positive elements for human realization..they are known and recognized through contrast, as we can only see due to contrast in light levels…


i am grasping onto places and memories. i have huge retrospective essays coming up where i’ll be analyzing what i have been doing for the past three semesters of my life. compiling and synthesizing that amount of work feels like a major task. but a good process that i want to plod through. i need to work really hard this semester to stay on top of my responsibilities. i am feeling good about this…just wishing i could easily not need as much sleep.  but i am honestly really excited for the various things i am trying to do this semester.


i remember giving a bag of chocolates to Minerva and the family in tlaxcala and miguel just got so into them. they pulled some theater and poured the bag out under a napkin, telling him they were all gone. he had really been chomping away on them. kid was like “chocolat?? chocolat??” such a fussy but super dulce little kid.


con mucho amor.

estoy pensando en la significa de “solidaridad”

y porque y por quien estoy en escuela.
ayayay, voy a dormir


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